In search of happiness... :)

All this while, when I was busy writing sad and emotional stuff, my friends were busy relating it to my life … Some even complained…that I wasn’t updating them with things going on in my life….some were angry for the fact that I am never happy…that am a very negative person and somehow I find reasons to be sad… and in the midst of this series of events… a friend of mine decided to narrate a story to me…: )

(I guess he too was frustrated with this negative attitude of mine :P )

I guess everyone would be able to relate him/her self with this story… We all have been through these stages of life… where we were told… just do your best now and then you won’t have to… just put in your best efforts and you’ll smile forever… 

Now it goes this way......

 

When I was doing my 10th, my mom told me...

  “Sethu, just study hard this year...if u did, then u can be happy and keep smiling in the years to come"

  So I studied...

Then I came to 12^th…

  My mom then said to me, “Sethu, just study hard for this year...get into a descent college, then you can remain happy and keep smiling in the years to come"

  So I did......

 I got into a descent Engineering College...

My mom then said " Sethu just study hard this time...get a good placement and then u can keep smiling and happy in the years to come"

  So I did....I studied

 Then my mom told me when I was in 2nd yr "Sethu...just study hard and prepare well for CAT and get into a decent B school....if u did that then you can be happy and keep smiling in the years to come"

  So I did...I also got into a B school

And now I have realized that my mom was lying after all

You always had to slog every time only to keep smiling and be happy in the ' years to come' by which u lose your smile in the present.

This present which was future some years back, for which I was working hard has come....but yet at this future (that is the present) am striving hard for some other future.

I realized all this is a humbug....and if you don’t smile now for the present, u aren’t going to any time

So do nothing that costs your smile.....just keep doing things that u feel like doing and be happy and keep smiling for ever…

 

The story ends here..... :)

P.S. - All this mom’s  stuff is hypothetical :) it’s a self cooked story… The credit goes to Sethu raman : )

  

Reality slaps...

I was one of those girls that whispered about every girl incredulously….

“How can she stay with that guy? He cheats on her all the time!”
“No man could have me like that!”
“She deserves better”   or
“She is getting EXACTLY what she deserves if she won’t stand up for herself!”

Its only when I faced all this myself, that I understood… It wasn’t like these girls were not standing up for themselves….

It isn’t that I did not stand up for myself. ..Who likes being cheated on? … It makes you question your worth as a woman, as a person even….

It’s only that I loved him, so in retrospect, maybe I was stupid. But whenever I questioned him, he’d lie so truthfully that I wanted to believe every word flowing from those honeyed lips- backed up earnestly with his pleading eyes…

Of course I knew. I always knew. Girls aren’t stupid – we know. It takes strength to allow yourself to believe the truth. Especially when it hurts or when it threatens your happiness. And now I wonder… did all this make me happy!

No one could love me like he did. When he was with me I had his undivided attention. We shared an emotional bond that I am yet to find with someone else. OUR relationship was perfect. But it wasn’t monogamous from his end…

One day, it hit me. I was being faithful and he wasn’t. As much as I was able to convince myself he was going through a phase and I was the one he truly wanted… There was my reality slap…. It was when I got to know that its not just me who’s weaving dreams … there’s someone else too… someone had to shatter one’s dreams…I chose myself to do so…. The pain is all mine…d pleasure is all yours!! And that is it for us… all 3 of us…

What you read above is more of a story…but a story which teaches a lot… love is the most confusing feeling I ever came across…

When you are sad… you shed tears… when you are happy…you smile… when you are angry…you shout…when you are hurt…you are silent…and numerous other feelings… but what when you are in love???…love brings it all… happiness in the form of smiles, laughter, the butterflies in you stomach when you see that person, your very own heart betrays you and starts beating for someone else… yet  love brings sadness too…when the person is unable to understand the depth of your feelings, when the person judges you by your words and not by your feelings, anger when you are just  unable to take certain things and you shout, you are hurt and you abuse  because you are unable to take that pain and you do not know how to get rid of it…it’s the time when you actually become needy of that person..AND…That’s the time where everything goes wrong…a needy person is always looked upon with sympathy…The problem is we give too much in the hope of being loved in return and we do this when we don’t feel worthy of someone’s love i.e. we have a low self esteem which makes us needy. When you are needy of another person it always pushes them away and the more distant they become the more badly we want them back. IT’S A ROTTEN CYCLE WHICH NEVER WORKS.

The key to break free from this is to start taking care of your own needs and what you desire from your life, stop chasing the other person. When we take care of ourselves and start putting our own needs first, in healthy ways, we become much more attractive and magnetic to others and that’s the irony of the story. You actually start worshiping the ground, on which that person walks, and that is when the person starts taking you for granted. It happens with all. You can only get rid of this helpless feeling if you make yourself a far more precious commodity by putting your own needs first, finding your own self interests, and forcing yourself to do other things rather than just chasing him ( even if that’s all you feel like doing). YOU CAN ONLY BREAK FREE IF YOU START TO DEEPEN YOUR OWN SELF WORTH AND ELIMINATE THE NEEDINESS THAT DRIVES THIS CYCLE.

                           

COME BACK...I MISS YOU

This is for you…. I love you…….

I love your smile, undoubtedly… but I love mine too

Which is all gone…since the day, all the love…you withdrew

I won’t say I’m right, I won’t say i wasn’t wrong

But this relation…was meant to last long

You couldn’t stand someone holding my hands

ALAS…

A relation so concrete…turned into that of sand

Vague and fake had become a relation…which for us…was so sacred

The love u had for me…was now replaced by sheer hatred

In the midst of all this.. I guess you forgot…our past…and this makes me write this…

Recall….,. … …. ……

Strangers we were….

You were a chocolate : )  aaah…. You still are

I was a chilly…hot and sour

You always knew, demand for chocolate would always be grand

And I knew…something so sour... a chilly…No1 for long can stand

And we met… : ) the chocolate and the chilly…

We never committed …guess chocolate was never sure

But that’s a petty word…for a feeling which was so pure

I loved seeing dreams …yes that was me…

And that was you…who never believed…what I loved to see

I kept seeing dreams…u kept hating them

But…as we say…change is the only constant

I accepted the fact…you aren’t for me

It was actually a mirage…which throughout my life…I wished to see

I kept running after it…I fell down…I was tired

By the time I stood up again…I was already fired

I tried to recall…where I went wrong

For my feelings were always true…my love so strong

You never wanted to own me…yet you wanted me to be yours

I was left perplexed…my heart left behind with strange scars

Chocolate is possessive… chilly is even more

Possessiveness—a b’ful feeling…the love behind… how could we ignore

The blame games…the fights ... never ended

Now that we’ve parted our ways… memories still linger in my heart

It may sound strange but… chocolate and chilly is each other’s integral part

I heard some1 else likes chocolate…may be chocolate likes her too

Helpless….there’s nothing chilly can do

You don’t wana see me…I’ll never show you my face

Believe me.. I’ll vanish completely…there won’t even be a trace

But just rethink…

A relation so beautiful…a feeling so pure

Should it end this way? Ain’t there…any cure?

PEOPLE LIKE YOU CHOCOLATE…THEY ALWAYS WILL

I know chilly and chocolate are no match

But chilly’s feelings are beyond liking you

Her love… though hot and sour…is  TRUE!!!

D bizzared ones...

Life doesnt give us a secnd chance always...

neithr hapines nor sadness...forever stays ...

throughout our life v keep running...decoratin d future...

its only d dreams ....dat v nurture...

v lose on some imp things of life...

for which we throughout  strive....

v forget...dat v  have ppl around ...who love us....who care for us...BUT....

dey need d same too...v become ignorant towards dem...

because v feel...dese ppl wud neva go....cz dey love us so much

slowly distance creeps in between...no1 gets to knw....

n ppl separate...n by d tym u realise wat ws imprtant to u....

you r alrdy too far frm dat thing...

love can never sustain one sided...u'll never hear a person saying .... 

i kept lovin a person for whole f my life though one sided...n no1 else cud replace....NO

everyone wants to live...and evry1 finds a reason to live

wen a person sheds tears for you...

theres an emotion behind....n if u runable to recgnise dat emotion...

you lose....

realise d importance of everythn....strike d balance...

anything wich cums back aftr going once....can never b d same....

you cnnt put any thing in dis world on hold....

no decision, no relation, no feelings, no emotion

coz by the tym u decide something....

D ODR PERSON MYT HAV ALREADY DECIDED D ODR THING....

IN D END...SILENCE SPEAKS IT ALL....!

A glimpse… A glance… starts it all…

 Ummm….I like dat gurl….

Aaah….d guy s nyc yaaa…..

Sun, he askd for my no. …de dun kya??

Dekh le…tujhe sahi lagta hai to de de ;) kyun heroine…chakkar kya hai? :P

Nahh….nthn….just like dat…. ( blush blush )

Finally d no’s are xchanged….

Hey hi…. Remember me? :) 

Umm….yaaa…aj yahan ka raasta kaise bhool gaye?

Bas yun hi…. So,wassup…kya kar rahi ho?

Aan….nthn…u tell…

Tumhe yaad ;)….

Achaa ji….liar……………………………….

And then .....

The long chats…long long ones…knowing each other….likes,dislikes,hobbies,crushes…the EXPLORATION STAGE ….the COMMON STUFF….

ohh ,… ye to mujhe bhi pasand hai….acha kya? Look hamari choices kitni milti hain…hahaha…..

Tum kitna bolte ho….uffff

Tumhari awaz kitni sweet hai….i feel like listenin to u all d tym…:) :) 

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Sun….theres a gurl I like….kya karun?

To speak na…tell her…problem kya hai? ;)

I Like you….

Wat????  :-o ( :) :) :) ) aannn….I need sometime….

N den obviously….she liked him too…..

D tym passed by….

Pata h…..he s so caring….i admire him so much

Shes so understandin….she knws me d best…. Aah…m in love

ONE FINE DAY…

I LOVE YOU…you are the gurl who always came to my dreams…we’ll do gr8 togethr…ur d perfct for me….I’ll keep u happy…always…never let u down…. :) :)  

……………………. I love you too :) :) :) …………… so now we are committed ??? wowww….yay yay yay….:D:D m sooo happiieeee….. !!!!!

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Suno tum jaldi se neeche ao….am already waiting….

Aww….bata to dete budddhu….coming :) :)  ….

I wish v cud always stay like dis ….together….forever…. I don feel like going back wen I come to meet you… :( :( ….

Tum jab bulaoge main ajaungi…. Jdn b sad….cmon smile :) 

Suno movie chalet hain….tum kaunsi dekhogi….

Hey wow….jo bhi tum kaho….coming :) 

N d tym passes by…. THE BEST STAGE….

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Kya kar rahe ho?...Suno mujhe milna hai… :) 

Bacche please thodi der me…abhi room me friends hain :( 

No problem :) jab kahoge ajaungi :)  enjoii…

-------- I messagd u….u dint reply….kya hua?

Sorry kuch urgent kaam me busy tha…kya hua?

Nthn…aise hi :) 

---------can we meet??

I juss came out  :(  will meet asap!!

-----movie chalein please?

Aj bht imp meeting hai….pls sum odr tym….     Ya its ok…

-----lets chat…its bin long….v used to tok soo much :)  

Bacche m very sleepy….kal pakka …

-----you don’t call me nowadays,…kya hua? V don meet for meals too…is evrythn ok?

Ya ya….bas ws a lil busy around… kuchh nahi hua …

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You went out n din even tell me… :( I was tryin to reach you… u dn care nemore :( 

Yaaar…y do I need to tell you evrythng??? Let me do things at my own pace…m no superman…

Okay …m sorry !!!

Can we meet?? ….

Ya but I need to leave in ten mins….some urgent work….

---------ajkal u dn spend tym wid me? Kuch galti hui kya mujhse?

Nahii yar….y dnt u understand?? Career tym h? dn juss sit on my head all d tym… n y d hell do you keep shouting?? Your voice s so unbearable n irritating….it pinches….

I am sorry…. Guess I’ve started creatin a lot of trouble….I better stay away…..

Offfoh….tumhe to bas ladne ka bahana chaiye….jo man me aye karo… I don give a damn….

You wont evn stop me???

I never asked you to leave..huh!!!!

Yaa…u never did…BUT I GUESS U DONT WANT ME TO STAY EITHER....

n again d time passed by.... 

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after a few months...

Hey…hii…hw r u? long tym no see…kahan rehti ho???

Hi….m ol gud… ya long tym….u tell….ws abt to call u in a day or too….

Ohh wow…I won.. :) main hamehsa hi jeet jata hun ;) btw y aftr a day or 2? :) 

wanted to invite you :) 

I am getting engaged this week :)

THE UNPREDICTABLE LIFE

Death…. What is death??  A person broken into pieces??  Or a person unable to breathe?? Or a person who slept nicely but didn’t wake up in the morning?? Or death is what we see every day?? Do you think you are alive?

22^nd July 2011-IBS Hyderabad

A student dies of an accident. Sudden news…all chaos….A “soon to be entrepreneur”…. A son…a brother….a friend….a classmate….an acquaintance….a stranger….a Nobody….just like people who were victims of Mumbai blasts are… for most of us….Nobody…floating messages….cancellations of  a lot of commitments….keep going on….and one fine day ,under pressure of studies…placements…commitments… we’ll forget…the management will take all strategic decisions….after all….INDIA is all about politics…aaah…political corruption….!!!

IBS has a population of around 2000 students…for the condolence  …some 200 were present…now the floating messages took a different direction…pity people who didn’t come…pity people who didn’t stand…and after few days things will be back to normal…that’s life…human nature….!!!!

The guy…who died unexpectedly….iff…if at all he would have known that his last day is 22^nd July…and that it’s inevitable. What do you expect? What would he do?? Before reading further…think...

he would have rushed back home…to his mom n dad…or may be to his friends first…or may be he would have thought of going to the person he loved…could be anyone….or may be he would have tried to spread happiness…eat his favourite dish…… …in any case … he wouldn’t have had spread hatred….he wouldn’t have gone to his enemy to hit him….or he wouldn’t have run to earn money….!!!! He would have done everything which he always thought of doing in the future…THE BEAUTIFUL FUTURE…because for him…this was itt….

Naaah….I’ve not gone mad… understand….every human being wants to have a beautiful future…but in the midst of all this we forget our beautiful present….pity on this people!!! Pity …that you have hatred for people…for no reason!!! Pity …you foresee the beautiful things of life for some materialistic reasons… !!! live…regrets never help…live every moment….make people smile… go…hug someone you love…call mom n dad out of the blue n tell them…I LOVE YOU ….go…say sorry to people you hurt…ever…call old friends…eat...drink…have fun…strike a balance….for you never know….Kal ho na ho!!!

May his soul rest in peace and most importantly may god give strength to people who were left behind and are bound to face this!